written March 2011

About midweek on our BVI trip last month, I started talking about the “year away” idea with Chris, Bryson, and Cindy.  Chris knew I was serious, but I believe Bryson and Cindy thought I was just having one of those “I wish vacation could last forever” moments.  As the week went on, and we consumed more and more Painkillers, the conversations turned into planning sessions.  What kind of boat to get?  Bryson had all kinds of advice.  What would we miss from the mainland?  Cindy told us about the lack of decent hair salons.  In my downtime on the boat, I started making lists of what would have to occur to make this dream come true.  When I told Big Bryson at Pirate’s Bight that I might try earning “rum money” by writing articles for a magazine or writing a book, he said, “The way you drink, you won’t need much.”  I guess that was a compliment, but it didn’t sound like one when he said it…

When we returned to New Jersey, I tried to see if Chris was onboard.  (sorry for the pun.  Given the proliferation of nautical-based terms in our language, it probably won’t be the last time.)  He had been excited while we were away, but now he was completely skeptical.  Once we got home, making this crazy thing happen seemed like a pipedream to him.  The overwhelming need to be a provider for a family of five is a pretty strong argument against throwing caution to the wind and taking off for a year to experience the world.  Well.  Depending on who you are.  Chris is Mr. Dependable.  Mr. Provider.  Mr. Checks the Weather Channel (and NOAH just in case) the Night-Before-We-Do-Something-That-Involves-Being-Outside.   I started to think that talking him into this was going to be more difficult than I imagined.

So I brought in the big guns.  I got him to research boats!  Chris loves to shop online for deals.  I gave him a challenge.  Find a boat that is reasonable, safe, comfortable, and not located in Southeast Guam.  Well, he’s been busy with that for the past two weeks while I get the rest of the planning “underway” (sorry).  I’ve made a Pro/Con list.  I’ve talked to a Bergen County Superintendent to understand homeschooling laws.  I’ve subscribed to several blogs written by families who are cruising and boatschooling.  I’ve made an appointment to find out how much it would cost to store our belongings for a year if we end up renting our house out while we’re gone.  I’ve read countless websites about cruising, buying boats, provisioning (the nautical term for buying and storing food on a boat), homeschooling/boatschooling, renting your house for a year, and various other related topics.  (By the way, has anyone noticed how amazing the Internet is?)  Chris’ tasks are to find a boat and figure out who will do his job while we’re gone.

Tonight I bought Dove, by Robin Graham- a book that apparently inspired a whole generation of cruisers, sailors, and adventurers.  In a super “The Secret/Power of Positive Thinking” moment, I also ordered Lesson Plans Ahoy!, a book about boatschooling. If you haven’t seen “The Secret”, you must do it now.  In the spirit of sending positive energy out into the world, the idea is to get what you want by thinking about what you Want-not what you Don’t Want.  Seeing your dream is key, so we have a bulletin board in our bedroom and we are posting images that support our goal of sailing for a year.

The hardest part for me is keeping it to myself.  For obvious reasons, we don’t want to talk about our plan until it becomes more of a reality.  I told my acupuncturist, who would have figured it out anyway with his voodoo magic Jedi Mind Trick intuition.  I told my life coach, since I need her advice on how to keep Chris moving towards untethering himself from society’s strong anchor (sorry).  And I told one friend in NJ and a friend in California, because I just couldn’t help it.

The people we told have been supportive, although I’m not sure one of them completely understands.  Maybe you the reader don’t understand yet as well?  It goes beyond a love of the ocean or a  love of sailing, although that is a huge part of it.  When you have this type of connection to the water, you become a natural adventurer.  You want to be in nature.  You want to see more of it.  When you sail, you experience the unique feeling of moving through the ocean by harnessing the powerful wind.  It’s awe-some.  It’s wonder-ful.  And when you’re living a typical suburban life as an atypical individual, you sometimes get a serious Charles Ingalls type of hankering to go west.  Or in my case-South.  (I promise you that will NOT be the last Little House on the Prairie reference.)  In essence, I feel most at home when I am on the water.

The beautiful thing about having a dream is that now that I’ve imagined myself living it, I’m already enjoying the gifts our new lifestyle has to offer.  Once I was able to visualize what a year on a sailboat would look like, I realized that I am able to make some of it happen RIGHT HERE and RIGHT NOW.  If thinking and dreaming about this year enabled me to see what my priorities would be in an “ideal” situation, then why can’t I apply those priorities to my life today?  I can see us all on our new boat, all together, sailing away on a beautiful, sunny day, the water glistening all around us.  I am feeling free and joyous in my life here and now, because I have come in touch with the part of me that wants to live freely and joyously.  I have been closer with Bryson, Reese, and Porter- playing with them and teaching them new things.  This is a result of contemplating how wonderful it will be to live in close quarters with them.  I imagine that living on a sailboat would be about simplification.  Moving away from the strain of multitasking.  So I am continuing my commitment to simplification right now.  I am trying so very hard to limit my multitasking, which is so impossible that I’d be happy if I was only doing two things at once instead of three or four. (When you realize that it’s 7:05am and you are simultaneously using the loo, changing the toilet paper roll, answering questions about what your son should wear to school, and checking out the window to assess the current weather status, you are DOING TOO MUCH AT ONCE. Can you imagine the electric currents in your brain during such a moment?  “Release your pelvic muscles!”  “No! Divert eyes to bright spot outside window and note wind movement in trees!”  “NOO!!!!  Me first!  Which pants are clean and hanging in Bryson’s closet?  Tell him the navy ones with the green t-shirt!” “Now hold on just a cotton-picking minute guys!  This toilet paper roll isn’t going to change itself.  Do you know the manual dexterity required to turn the upper torso at a ninety degree angle and push in the rod without springing it halfway across the floor, clattering like a pyramid of teacups just crashed?”)  But I digress.  Multitasking-too much.  Working on simplification.  Got it.